Back pain

I’m not paying attention.
And I have all these pain patches on my back,
Three days in a row.
You said I’ll be okay after 5 days.
I don’t think that will happen
Because he left me broken
In the basement alone.
Why didn’t you stay
and help me put all these patches?
It’s fucking hard to put them on.

I was not impressed.
He walked out and said
“I won’t ever come back here.
And to all the places we went to.
I will never miss you.”
I said, “Same, asshole.”
But now, Fuck!
I miss him. Big time.

I called you again
But you didn’t answer.
I left you a voice message,
“I need someone to pick up my laundry.
Could you get it for me?”
After 2o minutes,
You texted me,
“You fucking need him back.”
Perhaps, you’re right.

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it’s raining

I love rain.
The sound of each raindrops hitting the roof.
I lay in my bed, closed eyes, under blankets.
I feel comfortable.

I love rain.
It comforts me in a way that nobody does.
It hides my spurious smiley face.
And it shelters my fears and regrets.

I love rain.
As if it understands what I feel,
As if the sky is crying for me.

Makes me feel less miserable.

I love rain
That I have forgotten how I used to love the sun and its sunlight,
How happy I was when it’s summer.
I was delighted of everything that comes with it. 

Or maybe.
Maybe

Maybe one day, I will enjoy the warmth of the sun on my skin again.
Maybe I’d become the person I used to be –
the one with sunny heart.

But what I know right now is,
I love rain.

You might judge her without knowing her past and criticize her like what others did but she will always be the girl you can run to whenever you feel alone, share your secrets with and will always care for you no matter what. I’m telling you, She’s fucked up and you will never know it. Why? Because you’ll never be interested with her. She’ll laugh, smile and talk when she needs to and not because she wants to. She’s plain and empty outside and shattered and broken inside.She will not and never be the girl of your dreams. It’s okay, because who would love a girl with a scar? Who would love someone who doesn’t even love herself?

Words: Mayel Tapi

Hunter

“But you said Japa..”
“I know I told you I like Japanese food – Tonkatsu, tempura, okonomiyaki, takoyaki.
Not fucking sushi. I hate sushi!
You could’ve asked me what Japanese food I want!”
Right after that you walked out of the door and said “I’m gonna buy Japanese food.”
But I know what you really meant was an instant cup noodle.

20 minutes have passed and you’re not coming home yet. I am so worried that you won’t bring me a cup of instant ramen. But hey, I’ve got all these sushi to eat by myself. *smiles*
“You’re oh so weird and serious and moody all the time and I still wonder why I’ve fallen for you” I sing.. I catch myself singing about you again.

And then my phone rings. An unknown phone number shows up. I press accept call, “Hello?” I hear a low man’s voice “Hello, Sir.” “Ahm.. Who’s this? ” “This is Officer Bryant of Hamilton County Police Department and I want to ask your relationship with Ms. Ramona Hills?” “She’s my wife. Hunter Hills. What’s the matter, Officer?” “We found her with multiple injuries and we sent her to the hospital.” “What?! Oh God. What happened to her? Is..” “It looks like someone attacked her. It’s now under investigation.” “Who would do this to her?” “We’ll figure it out, Mr Hills.” “Thank you, Sir.” “St Vincent Carmel is the hospital and I’ll give you further info later.” “I’m on my way. Thanks again, Officer.” I hang up as I wipe the tears from my eyes. “Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god…please.. they are okay.”

Less Bra

Happy New Year! I know it’s already the 18th of January and I’ve been so busy these past few weeks. So here’s my first entry for this new blog ; I started my year off with me being bra-less for a day .

Yep, you read that right. And no, it’s not the bra-less for a day to stay and to be so cozy in my room all day. I actually went out, reported to work without wearing a bra. I know that this sounds too weird but it was one of the things in my bucket list. And I am so grateful I did it so I could cross it out (I did) and move on to other things written in there.

I did it two weeks ago when I could not find a good boobs support. I decided to just DO it that day, for the sake of my kabaliwan satisfaction. I wore a pair of dark blue pants (I had undies, okay) and a black band shirt. I was convincing myself to act like nothing is missing. I don’t have much boobs but I can feel them hanging under my shirt. Actually, it’s very comfortable. We all girls know how relaxing it is to take off our bras after wearing them all day – it was just like that feeling. But at the same time, I was worried because of the fact that I didn’t have bra and people might notice it. Also a bit worried that my boobs might be in pain later in the day since they didn’t have support.

So I came to the office and went home and guess what?! No one noticed it. And it was not painful at all …but I felt very uneasy.
Was it fun? -Yes!
Would you do it again? – NO!!
At least I was able to experience it and thankful that nobody pointed a finger at my chest and said “You’re not wearing bra! haha”.  To be honest, I enjoyed it and I felt somehow confident with my body. It’s sort of an achievement, you know. Or maybe I am just too weird to do this kind of crazy stuff.

PS. I know this is weird as my very first entry.
PSS. I went to the beach last week and it was way more fun than this bra-less for a day