• Nakikinig ako ng songs ng Pinegrove ngayon.
  • At, uhmm, ni-like ng crush ko yung bagong profile picture ko sa facebook (*tili).
  • Magsusulat ako ng entry tungkol sa Ilocos Trip namin.
  • Update: One my best friends’ reaction on my picture.
    ds
    That’s true friendship right there.

Grandma

When I was a little boy, my grandma always told me to be myself. Because that’s what she did.

Grandpa died after the war and since then, she had been living in their old house alone. Without him for 7 years, she found herself unhappy. She started meeting guys and even though her kids never approved it, she went out and dated men she liked. She fell in and out of love multiple times. She was 64, always dressed in sparkly clothes and ready for the ballroom dance floor. She was having the time of her life. Women at her age never liked her. People talked nasty things about her but she didn’t care. I remember her saying “I’ll put my makeup on and dress nicely. Their men will fall for me.” in front of a mirror, brushing her hair while also checking her lipstick. I knew she was happy.

I asked her once “Did you love grandpa?” With tears in her eyes she said “Yes. He’s the man I ever needed. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, just like what we promised..but he’s gone.” I never had any memory of grandpa. But based on her stories, she was happy with him.

Years had passed, I’ve grown old and moved town. The last time I saw grandma was in her deathbed. She was 81. She could hardly speak, yet she was able to call my name. She looked at me closely and put her wrinkly hand on my lap. I found her smiling at me. Her eyes were telling me words I needed. I didn’t say anything. Instead, I gave her a kiss on her cheek. And I guess that was my goodbye. She passed away hours later.

For the last time, she wanted me to feel what she had felt freeing herself.

Now, I’m 41. I have a steady job and got recently married. I’m in the hospital right now, waiting for my daughter to be born. With the help of a woman who agreed to be the surrogate mom, my husband and I are going to be parents.

Grandma, I am happy.

Cancer

Can we talk about twentyonepilots MCR cover’s Cancer? Oh gosh… it almost killed me. I hated it. I love MCR so much and I’m also a big fan of TOP and this hurts me. The cover was so bad.

(I was at work when they released the lyric video. And without listening to it, I shared it on my Facebook wall. As soon as I heard the first 30 seconds of it, when I got home, I deleted it. )

Okay. Hate me all you want, that’s fine with me. I hate that most of TOP’s fans loved the cover, like seriously have you listened to the original? The original was so powerful and emotional and just perfect. And this? TOP and the producer could’ve done better than this. Have you listened the voice clip of Tyler singing this song? That one was superb. But this cover, this one that Rocksound is going to release as one of the tracks in Black Parade 10 year anniversary cover album, is a total mess. It’s overproduced and sounded like it’s trying so bad to sell out. Wrong move, Rocksound. Tyler can sing beautifully without auto tune and sick annoying looping sound. It could have been better.

Was I the one to blame?

Okay, another story time. This time, an accident. A vehicular one.
It was around 1:40-1:50am, my usual time to go to work. Since it’s past midnight, it’s very common for me to wait for the pampasaherong jeepney. I usually go out in the middle of the night alone but on that night, my mom walked me to where I usually wait for a jeepney. I was lucky that right after we crossed the street, I saw an oncoming jeepney. It was running fast. I actually thought the driver would pass me by so I hurriedly waved at him and it stopped maybe a foot past me. I got on and reached for my coin purse to pay for my fare. I did feel that the vehicle was running, slowly but trying to revive its speed. And then a loud sound came upon. It sounded like an explosion or like something was hit by lightning. Everyone was looking at the back of our vehicle. A car hit us. It was an owner-type jeepney. Its bumper was detached and our jeepney’s footrest (the one you use to get on the jeep) was distorted, almost gone. Our driver was really pissed ’cause the other vehicle’s driver looked drunk. Good thing, there was a police car patrolling the area and assisted us right away (if not, there would be a fistfight, or maybe worse). Me and all the passengers got off and waited for the next jeepney while the police did their job. My mom was still out and told me that the owner-type jeep was running really fast just behind the jeepney I hopped in. When I heard that, I got weird goosebumps. I got really scared. That owner -type jeepney could’ve hit me and shit, I could’ve lost my legs if I was getting on slowly. But the accident  shouldn’t have happened if I didn’t wave at the jeep and make it stop.I felt very sorry for both drivers. Another pampasaherong jeepney came up and picked us all up.
I got through that day wondering if it was my fault that happened. I still am thinking about that and maybe, it was.