Sleepless Night Thoughts 6

Isang malaking joke! That’s what my planner is. I bought it with the hope that I can and will become an organized person but I’m way far to being organized at all.

I constantly fail every plan I write about. Planning isn’t me at all. Well, I will do the planning and all those stuff but I would end up not doing a single thing. For example today. I had a plan to organize my clothes and room and also to attend worship service tonight. But I ended up watching korean dramas and slept all day. I just simply shrugged off the plan because “I don’t feel like doing them” (probably equals to being lazy). For now, I will just ignore my messy drawers and will most likely miss the gym tomorrow.
My head, my emotions always get ahead of me. I would pressure myself to think positive and get myself together. But I feel like, somehow, that pressure makes me only less interested to do things.

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!

And that quote hit me right in the face. Am I really failing to change? Am I just wasting my time? I am trying to be as optimistic as I can but things are just not working out right now. I might take a break from all this game plan to change. Maybe I need it, at least, for a while.

I realized I’m more of an “event recorder” than a “planner”. I should’ve bought a journal, not a planner.


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